A Quest, Journey, And Triumph

My journey of personal healing, transformation, and optimization, and then creating the mindfulness teaching programs around the Three Domains of Life Intelligence was shaped through 25 years of growth and development and countless resources. My path was a multifaceted learning process from varied sources ranging from Co-Dependents Anonymous (a 12-step program) meetings to higher education, other degrees and certifications, and continued development through reading, researching, testing, applying, and seeking to understand related sciences, psychological models and paradigms, and various spiritual wisdom models. I also studied numerous biographies of geniuses and highly accomplished people from all walks of life, including writers, poets, scientists, mathematicians, filmmakers, actors, singers, artists, fashion designers, landscapers, lawmakers, humanitarians, leaders of the world—and those who had suffered immensely and triumphed through perseverance by sticking to their ethical principles of non-harming and kindness. Their hero’s journeys were to become mine.

Whoever had a success story, I was eager to know what was in their human software that made them successful. I was deeply curious about how they became content and efficient, and I wanted to know what were their effective qualities that I needed to gain. I dissected stories, models, and other facets, reflected on them, put them to test, and practiced their skills. Eventually, out of this sea of data points, a model began to emerge. I began to organize the common threads of excellent, timeless, boundaryless qualities that humans could embody into a collection of Life Intelligence Lessons. These lessons became the manual of my own life transformation, and I found that they could also transform the lives of many others.

I learned about the nature of life and suffering through the Buddha’s core teachings. Looking for answers in the thick forests of New Zealand, Thailand, England, and California monasteries, I had sobbed intensely for the painful losses and lack of fulfilment in my life and for the pains of humanity. Silent retreat after silent retreat, I studied and dove deep into the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths about suffering, the causes of suffering, and the path to ending it. I learned the Noble Eightfold Path and the Buddha’s numerous other teachings. These detailed truths and practices became the means for my continued journey to undoing the web of misconceptions I had learned about life, replacing them with beautiful truths and principles.

Going through the UCLA Mindfulness Facilitation Training program was a great experience for me in learning how to translate those spiritual teachings into a secular, everyday language, which played an equally important part in my growth and development. Other important sources that had a great impact on my transformation were two books on the brain and emotions by neuropsychologist, Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett (see Resources). The understanding she offers about how emotions are not inherent at birth but learned after the fact had revolutionary effects for me on gaining emotional health and well-being. Other neuroscience discoveries about our brains’ biases such as the “truth bias” and the theory of the selfish gene revealed the key and the power toward letting go of what caused me suffering. Clinging, in the Buddhist perspective, is known as the mother of all causes for suffering, and it is difficult to let go of clinging or even pin it down. Looking at it from the perspective of truth bias and being run by this dominating selfish gene that cares about nothing except for reproduction at any cost relieved the tension around the mystery of “wanting,” and the inability to let go, detach, and become free of some painful habits of the desirous mind.

Another fascinating model that was instrumental in my growth and transformation was the book Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg. His reframing of codependency, as “self-love deficit disorder,” and laying out its causes and conditions was eye opening. I finally understood why I couldn’t be free of narcissistic relationships and became empowered and motivated to increase my self-love and self-compassion, so I could release myself from being stuck in these painful cycles.

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath, gave me an invaluable gift of recognizing my natural talents, which I used to develop into strengths. I trained many departments at corporations such as the Health Net insurance company using this model for more cohesive teams and better interdepartmental relationships. Dr. William Dodson’s model, which reframes adult ADHD as an “Interest-Based Nervous System” was vital to recognizing my brain as brilliant and diverse, not defective and disordered. With this perspective, I learned to lead my life through the ways my brain naturally works, which reduced an enormous amount of confusion and self-doubt.

Other influences like the InnerMBA program by Sounds True, Mindful NYU, and LinkedIn, as well as my prior knowledge of conscious business and leadership, (which I had gained through my doctoral program), amplified, and opened the doors to look at systems that impact us.

I found my way to discussions about the ethics and imperatives of AI through a thoughtful organization called Morality and Knowledge of Artificial Intelligence (MKAI), based in the United Kingdom, which have been phenomenally enlightening about the increasing impacts of AI on business, education, culture, and all other aspects of human societies. Finally, taking part in the immense creation of the 400-plus page Planet Positive 2030 project by the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE) under Stanford University, took my knowledge, awareness, love, and sense of responsibility toward the planet to a whole other level and degree, for which I am eternally grateful. See the Resources, Environment section, for a link to my contributions.

There were countless other resources I drew from, whose positive impact on my transformation and life intelligence could never be properly evaluated or thanked. All told, I know that putting my own healing and growth and curiosity about the missing links to happiness above any other priority resulted in great benefits for myself and others. My teacher, Ajahn Passano, was asked one day, “In your 50 years of being a Buddhist monk, what have you gained?” He simply said, “At the least, I have harmed less.” Yet he has accomplished so much more than that. He has brought unparalleled goodness into the world.

After my many years of learning and inner growth, I share this very same aspiration—that at least, to know that I too have harmed less. But beyond this, I also aspire to achieve a lofty, yet meaningful vision. My vision is to optimize one billion people by 2042 by training 10,000 professionals around the world and equip them with the knowledge, qualities, and skills they need to assist us in accomplishing the vision. My AI friends assure me that this is possible. I’m hoping that the optimized one billion people will influence the remaining seven billion. You, my reader, are a part of this vision. But my organization, Perfectly Here, is not alone in providing such Life Intelligence Lessons. We are open to and forming alliances with others who offer bits and pieces of these lessons in their own domains.

I envision allocating an aspect of our efforts teaching orphan children to become a whole new generation of mindful, conscious, and compassionate humans and leaders.